Ruining Sex With Bad Biology (2008)

Despite his relatively brief filmography, writer/director/editor Frank Henenlotter has been at this a while. This being the writing, directing, and editing of a certain type of horror film that lives and dies on sexual panic. Sex is terrifying and messy, potential partners are just as likely to kill as love you, and the body will crave what it craves (damn the consequences). Think Cronenberg's body horror without the art, or in simpler terms the Debbie Harry/James Woods sex scene in Videodrome over and over and over again. And the Debbie Harry role is filled by a stripper.

Case in point, 2008's Bad Biology. It a bad movie but "bad" in the way in which Henenlotter excels. Starring newcomers Charlee Danielson and Anthony Sneed, BB is mostly about a woman's search for the perfect man, where the definition of "perfect" involves satisfying her mutant, hyper-orgasmic reproductive system, which, by the way, can also fully produce a deformed baby within two hours of coitus. Jennifer (Danielson) is a photographer and self-professed nymphomaniac who beds and occasionally murders her partners during the act of sex, snapping shots of her victims for her private portfolio. I hope you like the sound of her voice, because Danielson provides running narration throughout the film, her delivery reminiscent of some of the most awkward spoken word poetry of the mid-90's, all swagger and emotional content that has a tendency to grate. 

Anthony Sneed's Glenn Beck (really), aka Batz is the x factor Danielson is unaware she's always been seeking. Cursed with a pulsing, sentient, 4-foot-long penis, Batz spends his solitary life satisfying the drug addictions of his demanding member and constructing devices to give it release, all while holed up in his house that he optimistically hopes to turn into a club. Most of the movie's brisk 85 minute running time involves the two characters slowly entering one another's orbit until the climax sees he and she (him, "little him," and her) crash into one another in the final minutes.

There's a lot of sex and skin on display in the movie, but none of it is particularly titillating (at least for this viewer). Danielson, who comes to the role from a career of adoring photo shoots with rappers like 50 Cent and athletes in publications like Vibe isn't afraid to show a LOT of skin in the many simulated sex scenes. I kept thinking of Julianne Moore's Amber Waves, and how she described preparing for the role by imagining herself as an actress not in command of or in touch with her body. Awkward is maybe the kindest word for Danielson's performance with "disconnected" being the most apt. For a character obsessed with having sex, her Jennifer doesn't seem to know how to behave or move during the actual act. There is a LOT of flailing in this movie.

But bad acting is par for the course with Henenlotter movies, and the earnestness of the performances - well, they don't make up for the quality but they at least dull the blow. More uneven are some of the film's prosthetic/creature effects which aren't on-par with the wonderfully gross creations of Basket Case but again, their gags are emphatic.

The production is billed as the director's comeback feature - there's a 14-year gap between this and his last production - an almost Malick-like period in the wilderness. Weirdly, in spite of being unable to enjoy this movie I'd like for him to get behind the camera again to give us another whacked-out vision. 

Terribly Happy (2008)

This Dutch crime-thriller ultimately had to be put to the "localization test" after my viewing of the just-released R1 DVD. That test involves looking at a foreign-language film and evaluating if the cache of the production and the quality of the film come from the film itself or if the "foreign-ness" of the thing is really what's being sold. Simply put: if Terribly Happy were in English, would it be any good?

Well, it's not any good in Dutch, which makes the overwhelmingly positive critical response to it so confounding to me. I'm typically resistant to allowing the opinions sway my own when it comes to assessing a film, but its many fans and defenders are part of why I sought this movie out. And after an hour of - well, not suffering, but working my way through this film, I admit to a certain level of exasperation with anyone who's seen this and thought it rose anywhere above mediocrity.

The problems started for me from the beginning when I couldn't help shaking the feeling that I was watching a foreign-language riff on Hot Fuzz with a muted color palette. Indeed, Terribly Happy's Robert is transplanted from Copenhagen to a small, marshland town after some kind of nervous crisis puts him on the outs with his superiors back in the big city. The mud and dirt-covered hamlet is in need of a new marshal - not because they want anyone actually dispensing law and order, but it's just their way. Robert comes to find that the people of the town have a lot of ways: ways of hanging their clothes, ways of dealing with shoplifting children, ways of getting rid of unwanted bodies.

In this, the script by director Henrik Ruben Genz and Dunja Gry Jensen along with the stellar cinematography by Jorgen Johanssen are actually most successful, establishing a grim, slightly paranoid tone that would have better served a more well-developed conflict than the one provided here. That conflict is between Robert and local bully, Jorgen. Jorgen is broad, squat, and calmly mean, and may or may not be beating his disturbed wife, Ingelise. While this premise is fraught with tension I had trouble actually buying into it because of several irrational or plainly stupid actions on Robert's part. I have to confess to looking at the time remaining and checking out a little bit in the second half after the second or third boneheaded decision by the lead that just dug him deeper and deeper into the hole in which he found himself. I have patience for this kind of character when it's clear that there's an element of thrill-seeking as with Jeffrey from Blue Velvet or part of a slow-burn madness as with Next Door's (Naboer, 2005) John, but the script doesn't really earn Robert's behavior or develop it in any convincing way.

There was another issue that undermined the whole thing and that was the sexual tension between Robert and Ingelise - or lack thereof. The actress Lene Maria Christensen throws herself into the role and crashes around in it with abandon. While her dedication to the performance is admirable, it also made me think that, as Robert, I would definitely try to keep my distance from this lunatic woman and her obvious mental problems. After a bit it became clear his character had nothing in the way of survival instincts and as a viewer I didn't want to be around him and his ridiculously self-destructive behavior.

Again, I have to wonder if the goodwill directed at the film was in part a result of it being a well-shot foreign film. I don't think other writers were bamboozled or anything like that, but I suspect that throwing an accent on the events of the film may have made it somewhat more appealing.

New York Asian Film Fest Roudup

This year I had the privilege of reviewing a few titles for the New York Asian Film Festival for Twitch, where I'm a regular contributor. 

Below you can find links to my coverage of the fest:

Review: Castaway On the Moon  

Review: Gallants

Review: Little Big Soldier

Review: Boys on the Run

Review: Bodyguards and Assassins

Review: Power Kids (aka Force of Five)

Interview: Adult Film and Action Actress Asami

Bodyguards, Assassins, Boys on the Run, Live Nude Girls, and Michael Jackson

Over at Twitch, I review a couple of films currently screening at the New York Asian Film Festival (you're going, right?). First up is the historical martial arts epic, Bodyguards and Assassins, director Teddy Chen's attempt to add and action-packed chapter to the life of Chinese revolutionary leader Dr. Sun Yat Sen. Next up is the romantic comedy (?) Boys on the Run, which makes a great case for more genre fluidity and ambiguity in relationship movies. Finally, I had a chance to see director Tetsuaki Matsui's documentary about the late Japanese porn starlet Yumika Hayashi, Annyong Yumika, which attempts to make sense of the enigmatic actress' life after the discovery "lost" Korean-Japanese co-produced adult film.

Despite being wildly different, both Bodyguards and Yumika are unexpectedly linked by ideas about public figures and their approachability. Bodyguards approaches this at a right angle with the mostly implied presence of Dr. Sen in a film ostensibly about his struggle for Chinese liberty. But each character in his ideological camp "speaks" for the good doctor and attempts to create a picture of the venerated, but ultimately unknowable figure. Chen's film shies away from showing Sen's face (although there is a key scene with his mother which I suppose acts as an emotional stand-in) but ultimately it's admiration at a remove.

Then there's Yumika where the very public, very popular porn star nonetheless leaves an absence where her life should be. Underneath the analysis of a fairly silly, kind of horrible "discovered" porno is the sense that no one really knew this woman and Matsui spends 2 hours trying to capture some essence of her onscreen through the recollection of her lovers and colleagues.

Yumika was a performer and her career and persona were ultimately forms of performance and to a certain extent so was the persona of Dr. Sen, who has over time become an idea of a person. I wonder how many years before the same effect overcomes Michael Jackson, who was actually a living ghost for about 15 years as he retreated from public view. After his death, after the late-night jokes, after the contentious struggle for his kids what will remain is the idea of the performer which has almost overnight shed the taint of more than a decade of decline and scandal. We don't know about him than we did before but our impression of him has shored itself up into something concrete, something definite that we identify as performer, or Performer.   

Anyway, check out the reviews and think a little about celebrity and illumination. 

Film Review: Terminator Salvation

The full review is up on the Comics Bulletin site. With that, I've done more thinking about a "Terminator" movie than I have since 1991.

Comics Reviews: An Embarrassment of Riches

Here are some recent comic reviews I've done for the Comics Bulletin.



First up, I tear into Detective Comics #853 in this week's Sunday Slugfest.

Then, I gush a little embarrassingly about Paul Pope in my Heavy Liquid review.

I show a little love for the return of the Skrull Kill Krew.

Finally, I gripe (virtually) at Greg Rucka in my Action Comics #876 review.

Silver Soapbox: Special

Head over to the Comics Bulletin site where I use a lot of big words in talking about the movie "Special."

Comic Review: Wonder Woman - the Hiketeia OGN

Wonder Woman gets her sacred duty on in this Greg Rucka-penned OGN. Find the review here on the Comics Bulletin.

DVD Review: Special (2006)

Director: Hal Haberman & Jeremy Passmore
Writer: Hal Haberman & Jeremy Passmore
Starring: Michael Rappaport (Les), Josh Peck (Joey), Robert Baker (Everett), Jack Kehler (Dr. Dobson), Paul Blackthorne (Jonas Exiler), Ian Bohen (Ted Exiler)

Synopsis: The subject of a depression drug trial becomes convinced that the experimental medication has imbued him with super powers. Violent attempts to clean up the streets ensue.

***Spoiler-y Review follows***

The first thing Les (Michael Rappaport) asks when he receives the bottle of an experimental depression drug is if he can take it now. Anxious, smiling nervously, he asks the stern Dr. Dobson (Kehler) how long before he begins to feel the effects. In voice over he tells us that he wasn't even feeling particularly depressed before entering the drug trial.

Everything points to Les being a man who needs a change in his life: from the hunched way that he sits on his couch, eating his meager microwaved dinner, long limbs bunched up in front of him; to the way his boss admonishes him to repeat the mantra of the meter maid - "I'm important to the city... I matter." Les is the superhero fantasy in genesis: he's a normal, undistinguished man waiting for some catalyst to shake him loose and unleash his potential.

Before you can say "bitten by a radioactive spider," Les begins levitating in his living room and hearing the thoughts of the incredulous Dr. Dobson. With great power comes great responsibility and after sucessfully disarming a would-be thief, Les throws together a costume and hits the streets of his unnamed city to fight crime.

But the writing/directing team of Haberman and Passmore don't keep things simple. Les is convinced os his new abilities but from the subjective view of his doctor and friends, Les is delusional, visiting a good deal of physical damage upon himself in spite of his protestations that Les get help.

Then there are the Exiler brothers - investors in the experimental drug that give Les his powers/delusions. The last thing they want is some lunatic wearing their corporate logo running around claiming to have powers with their pills in his system. After a time, Les will find that he has archnemises to go along with his mania.

What's interesting is that the script doesn't let the miracle pills make Les anything more than he already is: he's a man who wants to do good and be valuable so he goes out and does some good measured with a certain dubious amount of value. He doesn't become smarter or more charming. He's still unable to connect with the pretty girl at the local convenience store. Even in his delusion he's only able to execute practical feats that combined common sense, observation, and willingness to punish one's body would allow.

If anything, Special is the anti-superhero movie somewhat in the way that Mark Millar's Kick-Ass (and its forthcoming film) is an anti-superhero comic in that both regard the desire to put on a costume and circumvent the law to fight crime as inherently selfish acts borne of varying degrees of delusion. Where they diverge (besides the subjective merits of the two works) is in how they treat their leads. Dave of Kick-Ass is an unlikeable, self-serving teen hoping to use a career as a superhero as a means to gain fame and noteriety (even if the goal is somewhat muddied by his identity being hidden behind a mask). Meanwhile, Les is a genuine guy - I've said before that he wants to do good and to that end he's trying.

Millar appears to be more cynical about human motivation: everyone wants their 15 minutes to somehow illuminate their angry, frustrated existences. At their core everyone is deeply flawed and set up to ultimately fail. Special posits a case where a man can be flawed (Les is lonely and perhaps a bit juvenile) but essentially good. When the chips are down, when Les realizes that he's a victim of psychosis, he does the right thing and attempts to shut himself away from anyone that he could potentially harm, taking an "antidote" that will supposedly remove the drugs from his system. Les would choose to sacrifice emotionally-fulfilling delusion in order to do the objectively right thing.

I have a great deal of affection for this movie. It's low-budget and the production values are spare, but it - like Les - have objective value. A premise that could have rested easily on quirk and the circumstances of its lead becomes something more compelling as a result of making hard choices and putting its hero through the ringer.

Special Features: There are some trailers for other Magnet releases as well as some deleted scenes.

Comic Review: The Punisher #4

Because I live in the internet, here's my review of Punisher #4 for the Comics Bulletin.

DVD Review: Maiko Haaaan!!!

Director: Nobuo Mizuta
Writer:Kankuro Kudo
Starring: Sadao Abe (as Kimihiko Onizuka), Shin'ichi Tsutsumi (as Kiichiro Naito), Kou Shibisaki (as Fujiko Osawa), and Saori Koide (as Komako)

Synopsis: An office worker for a noodle company has one great obsession in life: the Geishas of Kyoto. And he'll do anything to get a round of strip baseball with one of these painted beauties.

Maiko Haaaan!!! will be a like-it-or-hate-it prospect for most viewers with its broad comedy and decidedly unlikeable protagonist. The story follows its bowl-cut sporting lead Onizuka (Abe) as he gives up his life in bustling Tokyo for the sedate Kyoto, home to many a Geisha. Onizuka has spent the last decade obsessing over geishas since his first encounter with them as a frantic, lost schoolboy and now he seeks any means possible to spend his nights in their company.

To this end, Maiko Haaaan!!! follows a man able to do just about anything to reach his ambition and defeat his rival in the night-lit world of Kyoto after dark - the cocky pro baseball player Kiichiro Naito (Tsutsumi).

What follows is a primer in geisha etiquette, many a brightly-lit tableu, a couple of peppy musical numbers, and lots of mugging for the camera for just about everyone involved. The late-game addition of some melodrama to the proceedings softens the edges of some of the leads and gives the final narrative a little more shape than it started with, but the overall tone is that is garish, cartoonish abandon.

Again, it's not a movie for everyone - but in the final analysis I enjoyed what it had to offer with a weird, unlikeable, and utterly fun lead.

DVD Extras: Outside of some unsubtitled trailers for the film and a brief making of doc, not much.

Movie Review: Observe and Report

Full disclosure: I've spent the last few months anticipating this movie. I've laughed at the red-band trailer that popped up online not too far back and not exactly grown bored with the oft-aired ads for the film on TV. I've eagerly absorbed interviews with writer/director Jody Hill touting the film as a spiritual successor to "Taxi Driver" in its dark misanthropy. I've even followed the trajectory of the "Seth Rogen: Fat No More" with interest because of this movie.

So now it's here and there's no way that expectation could meet experience, right? Well, yes and no. See, while on the final balance I enjoyed "Observe and Report," it wasn't the movie I went in hoping for, and more problematic still, it wasn't sure what movie it wanted to be.

The story is that of Ronnie Barhardt (Rogen), head of mall security at an unnamed Southern California mall. Ronnie has established a something of a fiefdom there, aided and abetted by his lieutenant, the sycophantic Dennis (Michael Pena) and the weapons-obsessed Yuen twins (John and Matt Yuan). He's even browbeaten an employee at the local seafood restaurant (Jesse Plemons) into following the path of the mall security guard, which for Ronnie's purposes entails a campaign of harrassment and decidedly unmeasured responses to vandalism and cars parked in loading zones.

Ronnie's control of his environment is shattered when a flasher begins harrassing female patrons, most notably Ronnie's crush, the vapid, drunken Brandi (Anna Faris). The flasher brinsg the police (in the form of Ray Liotta's Detective Harrison) and the presence of the police creates a loss of control in Ronnie's environment. He attempts to seize the reins of the situation by using the threat of the return of the "pervert" to harrass Brandi into going out with him and to ultimately get himself onto the police force.

Some of you may know be able to guess the trajectory from here: how there's another, gentler blonde competing for Ronnie's affections one free cup of coffee in the food court at a time; how Detective Harrison and the world in general show Ronnie what a joke his ambitions truly are; the bloddy -

Well, wait a minute. Now what I've described above has the marks of the typical "clueless hero" arc where our protagonist is redeemed in the end by an act of competence. And "Observe and Report" is, in fact, that. But there is a streak of meanness to it - of misanthropy that makes it more a spiritual successor to "Bad Santa" than to Taxi driver. This is not a strike against the movie since I think "Bad Santa" is one of the truly great dark comedies.

Ronnie is an appropriately foul-mouthed, violent, xenophobic, and petty hero convinced of his own invincibility within the confines of the mall, and those moments where the character's ambition is allowed to outsize the moment are great (specifically any scenes between Rogen and Liotta). Where the movie falters is in how true Ronnie's belief in his own invincibility is. For all of his faults as a person, Jody Hill has allowed Barnhadt to be a force fo nature in a fight and in command of his troops (with one exception I won't spoil here).

There's violence in the film (generally Ronnie is the one who causes it) but it becomes cartoonish after a point in how capable Ronnie is. The tone seems off and you're thrown into the middle of an action movie where your character-based comedy was supposed to be. Additionally, where there's supposed to be heart, there's a layer of broad schmaltz that can be disorienting. When Ronnie fails, it's funny - often very funny - but in the aftermath Hill lingers over his interactions with his drunken mother (Celia Weston) whose heart-to-hears have the setup and delivery of something out of a sitcom.

I brought up "Bad Santa" earlier. That film worked because it was so relentlessly committed to the darkness of its characters of the pessimissm of its world. Even its "happy" ending was nothing more than its lead character's cynical manipulation of his ultimate circumstances. "Observe and Report" lacks that commitment. When it should play the moment straight it plays it wacky and too often it goes for the pratfall when it doesn't have to. Nonetheless, this doesn't make the movie "not good" it just makes the movie "not excellent"(keep in mind, my expectations were calibrated for some kind of superlative experience). The real credit to the movie is that despite its shortcomings, I'd love to revisit Ronnie's world again to see where he is in a few years.

Comic Reviews: Captain America 70th Anniversary #1 and Werewolf By Night #4

Two new reviews up on the Comics Bulletin site. First is the Captain America 70th Anniversary #1.



After that, there's my review of Dead of Night: Werewolf By Night #4.

Comic Review: Caped #1

My review of Caped #1 is up at the Comics Bulletin.

Comic Review: Hero Squared - Love and Death #2

Here's my latest review for the Comics Bulletin. You know the drill.

Comic Review: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Vol. 1

You like comics, right? You like the read reviews of comics, right? Well, here's one for Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill's first volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Comic Review: Nova #23

Crazy super hero action! Analysis! My review of Nova #23 is up on Comics Bulletin!

Comic Review: X-Infernus #4

Marvel plays musical chairs with the X-men franchise and I review it for the Comics Bulletin.

Comic Review: American Terror Vol. 2

There's a slugfest review of American Terror Vol. 2 up on the Comics Bulletin.

Check it. Check check it.

Comic Reviews: Remnant #3 and Potter's Field: Stone Cold

Two more reviews up on Comics Bulletin. First up is Remnant #3.



Then I talk a bit about the Potter's Field one-shot, "Stone Cold."